Here's the thing, I am pretty good on my own. I don't get all weepy that he is gone. I have always been independent. Don't get me wrong, I will miss him like crazy and will be excited to see him when he finally walks in the door a week later. There are pro's and con's to parenting alone for the week. Let's talk about some.
*It was heartbreaking watching Chase break down earlier when I reminded him daddy wasn't coming home tonight.
*The hardest part for me is I can't keep up with my routine of running. I realize that may sound selfish but hey, it's the truth. As I have mentioned before, mommy is a much happier person on the days I can run. So if mama doesn't get to run, mama may indeed lose her shit! Thankfully my folks only live 20 minutes away so I will be taking my boys there to at least get in a run or two. Not my normal 4 days a week but it will do.
*My mind tends to wander. I am left with thoughts of people breaking in. Jules, my big dog, is normally kenneled at night. When Jay is gone she is out. If she is lucky I let her sleep at the foot of the bed. At least I know if anyone comes in she will hopefully protect us.
*Schedules. These too change. This is almost a pro & a con. I have to do my best to let certain things go. I am repeatedly asking for patience. Picking and choosing what battles I want to conquer. Being the only parent in the house sometimes it is easier just to simply say "Fuck it". Like now, both boys are in bed with me. I just didn't have the energy to try and battle Chase to go to bed in his own room. I am exhausted. This is just easier.
*I only have to pick up after two boys, not three. Seriously that guy leaves just as many crumbs on the couch as our kids do. (Sorry honey, love you! But really, it drives me nuts!) If you know me I hate crumbs! Dirt! And all that darn animal hair. A little less mess is nice.
*I really don't mind sharing the bed with both the boys. I love looking over and seeing them both close to me. It's even better when they snuggle together or are playful with one another first thing in the morning. Those moments are priceless. The best part of my day is in the morning when they share hugs, kisses, and laughter in bed. (Once we get out of bed it all goes down hill).
*I have more time for Blogging, writing, reading, or Facebook. Typically I try to spend less time in front of my computer when we are all together, yet right now I am able to sit in bed with my laptop writing to you lovely people! Guilt free!
I really can't and won't bitch about him hunting. It doesn't bother me. I grew up in a family that hunts. I am happy he gets away for this week and he does this trip with his brother. It is not just about the hunting, it is about tradition. Someday the boys will be a part of this trip.
I will not complain about this week. I will be thankful for this time with the boys. I hear them breathing next to me and my heart is happy.