We had started talking about names early on yet to my surprise we were not agreeing on anything. We had decided to put it on hold until we knew for sure. Now that we knew our little miracle was a boy I just had to name him! NOW!! So back to the name game. I wanted to be able to talk to him, sing to him, and read to him, all while using his name. After what seemed like forever I came up with Chase. Chase means: Hunter. Since daddy loves to hunt I came up with this. Honestly, at that point daddy didn't have much of a choice!
He had a name! I could tell everyone this person growing in my belly was Chase. I tried to imagine what he would look like. I ecstatically prepared his nursery with bright blue walls, pictures and quotes. It didn't matter how sick he made me, I tried to never complain because I was having a baby. A baby boy.
Fast forward to Chase's second birthday. Naturally we wanted to give him the best gift ever! So we decided to give him a sibling! We planned this specific birthday gift and worked hard to make it happen. I found out on a Sunday morning that indeed Chase would be a big brother!
It was different this time. All the "firsts" that I experienced with Chase would not be that this time around. Thankfully I was not put through the awful morning sickness which I had with Chase through most of my pregnancy. And I wouldn't have to suffer another urinary blockage as I had with Chase. I wasn't doing a nursery since it was decided we would co sleep and some day (I am still not sure when that day will be almost two years later) the baby would be sharing a room with his brother. My mania for having to be prepared suddenly didn't mean much. I decided that I needed a "first" for this baby. I decided I wanted it to be a surprise.
|Wesley- 3D Ultrasound|
This I thought would not only be incredible yet a huge challenge for me. Maybe I would cave and find out anyway. I could always ask during a later ultra sound right?! It wasn't that hard though. I didn't want to know. The wonder of what I was carrying inside me filled me with such joy. I was not infatuated with finding out the sex. It did not matter. The baby I was carrying was all that mattered. The very existence of this child burned a fire in me so strong that it did not matter if it was a boy or a girl.
And then he came...like thunder rolling through the sky. Fierce and erratic. It was another emergency C-Section. I laid there on that operating table anxious for this child who was rocking my world already. He was pulled from my body and I tried to see him but couldn't. I needed to meet this child I waited for. The child I longed for. It was another boy!
|Wesley-Less than 48 hours old. The day we brought him home.|
To be honest I always knew Wesley was a boy. I felt it with every part of me. Looking at his face for the first time it was as though I already knew him. He was mine, meant for me.
I would not change any part of how I found out for my first and not for my second. As both boys are different so were my pregnancies and how I got to know each baby. I like that I experienced both knowing and keeping one a surprise. Both boys have their own special stories, just as unique as the children they are.