Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Do Opposites Really Attract?

We have all heard the expression before that "Opposites Attract".  Are relationships apt to last longer if two people have similar interests, beliefs, and ideas? Or do two people who are very different help to balance one another out? Is there proof that two different personalities can demonstrate the yin yang philosophy? When it comes to relationships and how they survive, many of us know it takes more than that immediate fire to keep it alive. People have an opinion on everything and I will be the last person to hand out any kind of relationship advice. I believe that any relationship can work if you are willing to put the work into it. Be it your partner, family member, friend or your exercise routine; each of these relationships require commitment, dedication, honesty, loyalty and sacrifice.

I recently read a post written by a woman who had run for years. She married a man who did not run. As the years went on her relationship with running grew as her marriage deteriorated. He didn't share the same interests she did. He didn't get running the way she did. She found comfort from another man who did share in this love for running as she did. She ended having an affair which resulted in her and her husband divorcing. Her relationship with this other man fell apart. In the end she was simply left with running. An integral part of her life yet she learned a valuable lesson on relationships in the process and had regrets. She wrote: "My warning is this: Sometimes it doesn't matter if you run and your partner doesn't."

My husband, Jason, is not a runner. He does not aspire to eat clean and surely isn't going to be doing an Iron Man competition any time soon. He is the one who is married to a runner. He married a woman who is committed to her relationship with the road and her body. There will most likely never be a time we decide to go out for a run together. My husband is a carpenter and his job keeps him active all day. When he comes home the last thing he wants to do is any kind of exercise. In all honesty, the last thing I want him doing is running with me. 

After my 6th Half Marathon in 2015

If you frequent my blog you know how passionate I am about the sport. You also know that running is spiritual for me. It goes beyond being fit, though that too is something important to me. When my husband gets home from work I usually greet him with a kiss, ask him how his day was, then I am ready to "run" out the door. I am already dressed in my running gear, desperate to escape the depths of my house which is filled with the shrieks of two toddler boys. Once I am out on my run I feel a sense of release and am able to take that time for myself. 

My runs are something I need to do alone. I have been invited on group runs and asked by friends to run with them. It is just not for me. I need that time to get in my own head and sort out the cobwebs. I need to be able to connect with myself and focus on the run. Sometimes I get out there and simply enjoy the run while other times I am working on speed and beating a PR. To run with others would only cause me distraction and take away from that time alone that I need as a mother, wife, friend and partner. 

My husband may not be a runner but by no means will that destroy us. He is supportive of my love for the sport. He makes sure I am able to get out there for my training. He asks me how my runs are and is genuinely interested. Then at the finish line of most of my races he is there with our children waiting for me and cheering me on. He knows to see our sons at the end of a race is exactly what I need and that those last few miles I run, I run faster to get to them. 

He is messy, I am obsessively clean. He likes to collect "shit", I enjoy organizing and throwing things out. He is quiet, I am loud. He eats whatever he wants, I choose healthier foods. He forgets things, I remember everything. He is conservative, I am definitely liberal. He does not run, I am a runner! 

I am not sure if I can say this proves the theory that opposites attract. What I can say is that in my own relationship, we are very different. At the end of the day we balance one another out and know how to laugh with one another. My husband doesn't have to throw on a pair of running shoes to win my heart. At the end of the day it is about supporting one another, growing together, sharing this wonderful life and loving one another no matter how different or alike we are. It's also about forgiveness...when I order another pair of running shoes!  

  

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18 comments:

  1. I love this post!! My husband is a carpenter too and a basketball referee so he has no desire to run with me. But I'm like you, and I like to run alone. It's the best feeling to see him waiting for me at the finish line!!

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    1. Awesome! I am so glad you can relate to this! It is a great feeling to see your loved ones cheering you on.

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  2. I relate to so much of this! I think the key is if your partner can comprehend what it means to you and why - maybe that is the key. My husband doesn't run either. He has in the past but ultimately decided it is just not his thing. At ALL. But he 'gets' why it's important to me. He gets why I come back from my long run happier and lighter in spirit. And if he didn't get that, I think that would be an issue for the relationship. Great post!

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    1. Thanks Carly! I agree, if my husband was not supportive about my love for running that might definitely be a game changer. I can see myself getting disengaged from the relationship at that point. Thank God for supportive hubby's then right?!!

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  3. My husband and I are opposites too! I think that's what balances everything out don't you?!

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    1. I agree. Jay and I are very different but we have a great time together and have a solid relationship. It must be true then!

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  4. I'm a runner, and my husband is not, so I totally agreed with your post! He has occasionally trained for 5ks with me and run a few, but he really doesn't like it at all. It's actually nice that we have different interests, and I love that he supports my running. He has only missed a few of my races and loves cheering me on at the finish line!

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    1. I wouldn't be able to get my husband to run even if I tried! Maybe if I hung a piece of prime rib in front of him...maybe... :) At the end of the day it is all about having them be supportive. I agree, it is nice to have different interests!!

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  5. You always write the most insightful posts, Crystal. My husband is also NOT a runner and for a while I thought it may become an issue especially since he reminded me constantly that he just "didn't understand". As my love for running has grown, it has also grown on him and he has become more supportive. I could not agree more that you and your partner do not have to be the same to succeed (I also would not want my husband running with me) but support really is everything.

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    1. I think it would bug the shit out of me having him run with me. lol. But I am so fortunate that he supports me and lets me do this. I could not put the time in I do if he wasn't on board.

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  6. Love this! <3 especially the part about ordering another pair of shoes! That makes up for the free grill he brought home that one time! ;-) Which, by the way, he gave Landon the timer off that grill and it's one of his favorite toys, lol.

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    1. Thanx! Yes, I figure my obsession with running and running gear balances out the random items he brings home.

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  7. My husband does not run or exercise really and does not share my taste for healthy vegetarian things. We are polar opposites on so many things but it works because we have so much else in common. He is very supportive of my "crazy races" as he calls them.

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    1. "Crazy Races", Love it! It is all about balance and finding other ways to compliment one another, My hubby and I are so different but we are close and I am fortunate to have his support.

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  8. I LOVE THIS! My husband doesn't run, in fact, he's overweight. We balance each other out. He kind of has a love-hate relationship with my running but has accepted it. I'm with you, both spouses don't have to run. They just have to accept each other.

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    1. Glad you can relate Wendy! Yes, it is about that balance. Couple just need to find that common ground and support one another.

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  9. My husband and I are so different. You are right - balancing each other out and supporting one another is what makes it work!

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    1. Couples need to find ways to compliment one another while being their own person. Being different/opposite is not always a bad thing as long as their is support and understanding.

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