Saying Goodbye To Nursing; Learning To Let Go

I love babies. I love the way they smell, those tiny little toes, the felt like feel of their skin as they are pressed against you, and the fire that ignites within me when I hold a new baby.  It was just two years ago that I brought my "baby" home from the hospital. If I close my eyes and can still feel the emotions I felt when I held him against me for the first time. His tiny, little body with his thumb already in his mouth. I felt as though I had waited for him forever and yet as I looked at him I also felt that I had known this child for years. I had been waiting for him. This child was my missing piece.

It is surreal to me that two years have gone by. Wesley is such a fun child. He is so sweet and shy yet fierce and fearless. It is a combination that will surely give me heart palpation's in years to come. He is my shadow, a mama's boy and several pieces of me. I love those tiny little arms that wrap around my neck as he leans in and says:"Hi Mama". Please, can I just stop time?!

I was always passionate about nursing. I was fortunate to nurse my first son, Chase, for eighteen months. Wesley, like his brother, was a champion breast feeder. Matter of fact, unlike his brother who would take a bottle and a pacifier, Wesley decided the only thing he wanted in his mouth was my boob. I had pumped and pumped my liquid gold in hopes to have daddy help me out with a bottle here or there or maybe even leave the kids with Nana and Papa...but Wesley decided this was not a good idea. I can count on one hand how many time he took a bottle. He tried a few times then decided that he wasn't into silicone and that he liked the real thing. (Let's see if this changes when he is an adult!)

I can't say that I really minded that he only wanted me. He was my baby and though I know it is important for a father to bottle feed for bonding, I have to admit every time I saw Jay give Chase a bottle when I was right there I was a little jealous because I felt it should be me nursing him. Wesley made sure that mama never felt this. I did encourage the bottle and even tried to push a pacifier to give my "nannies" (aka my tits) a break once in awhile. Wesley wanted none of it! I continued to pump in the hopes that maybe he would take a bottle eventually. This was more out of wanting to be able to leave him for a few hours without feeling I was going to starve my baby if I left him. After seven months of pumping I said screw it and broke up with my pump. Don't worry, all that breast milk was donated!!

I had decided early on that I would nurse Wesley until he was two unless he weened himself earlier. As two approached I was beginning to think that I would be sending him off to college and still be nursing this kid. By twenty months we had gotten down to nursing three times a day. Mainly revolving around sleeping or early mornings in bed. It was requested, demanded and screamed about.

I love nursing. Nursing was something I was passionate about from the moment I knew I was pregnant with Chase. I always knew I wanted to nurse my children. It was one of those things I envied about moms even before I became one. I loved holding my children next to me and seeing them look up at me as I nursed them. It has always been one of the most amazing feelings I have ever been blessed to feel. The thought of not being able to nurse any more babies made my heart heavy. That was until my breast became the victims of nipple abuse. Wesley was far from gentle and is he fell asleep lock jaw occurred. It was like prying a fish off a hook each time.

Nursing my almost two year old started to become more and more uncomfortable. It was not the same as this small baby I nursed for hours on end for months. As two was approaching last week I decided that it was time to stop nursing him.

I feared this would be an ugly end. I also felt heartbroken. There will be no more babies. My baby is now a toddler. We shared something so amazing I wasn't sure I was ready to let it go. I also knew it was time, for him, and for me. I began telling him it was all gone when he would ask to nurse. He initially cried at first yet that only lasted seconds before he stopped. It was clear to me he understood and that he may be ready for this after all. Deep breaths!

I needed to find another way to soothe him and help him to sleep so I am now rocking him. I still get to hold him next to me. I get to breathe him in, stroke his hair and hum lullabies in his ear. No, it is not the same yet still sacred time between us. It allows us both to adjust, grow and let go. 

I am not good with this letting go stuff. I am not sure I ever will be. I know my boys will grow and change. I realize raising little people has it's stages, it's ups and downs as well as mountains to climb. I just wish I could slow it down, rewind some moments then fast forward when I gain the strength. Learning to let go is challenging me. Saying goodbye to nursing will be an adjustment for both of us. We are a great team though and we will have many more incredible mother and son moments. There will be more firsts, more laughter, and we will continue to teach and grow with one another.

Breastmilk Jewellery, A Priceless Keepsake

I love jewellery and I love breastfeeding. So when I was on Facebook one night and saw a page titled Breastmilk Jewellery I had to check it out. I instantly fell in love with the pieces that were created. I was intrigued that my breastmilk could be made into a keepsake. A piece of myself and my children. A reminder of the bond, intimacy, closeness and magic that I was able to share with my boys.

The Raindrop Pendant

After watching the page for days and repeatedly checking out the website, my breastmilk was packaged up and went on a journey all the way to Australia! Yes, I said Australia! Lucky milk, what an awesome trip! I have to admit I am a bit jealous. A short time later I received my pendant and it was worth the wait. Included was even another piece without a bail (that is what connects to the breastmilk piece to make it a pendant) so I bought a bail of my own and turned my other breastmilk piece into another fabulous pendant. I have been wearing both pendants and since I was so happy with them I asked the owner, Kate, to do a write up for me to be featured in my blog. I am thrilled she agreed!

The Trapezium Shape I made into another pendant

Hi from Australia! My name is Kate and I'm a mum of 4 kids aged 5 months to 8 years, and somehow I still manage to create keepsakes for people wanting to celebrate their breastfeeding journey through my business, Breastmilk Jewellery.
I'm actually Canadian, I came down under backpacking in 2003, fell in love with a cowboy, and I've been stuck here ever since! We had our first baby in 2006 and it was never a question that I was going to breastfeed her - because we really could not have afforded formula back then. She was born by caesarean and we had a rough start to breastfeeding, I had no idea what I was doing and quickly ended up with horribly cracked nipples. Really the first 4 months were just awful - from mastitis to oral thrush, we went through it all! I am so proud that we went on to breastfeed until she was 14 months old, and the boy and then 2 girls who came after her were a breeze. My boy weaned at 18 months and #3 weaned, with my encouragement, the day before her 3rd birthday in August this year, after feeding through 9 months of my surprise pregnancy with her baby sister and 4 months of tandem feeding.
I came across the business, Breastmilk Jewellery, when the previous owner joined the babywearing group I run locally. She came to a few meets and then my husband found the ad for the business she was selling, and the rest is history! It fits in perfectly with my passion for breastfeeding and allows me to earn a small income while staying home with my youngest 2. I am loving being able to use my creativity and making beautiful things that people seem to love is just icing on the cake!

Kate creates beautiful pieces. Along with Breastmilk Jewellery she also does Placenta & Ashes pendants and other jewellery. Her prices are reasonable! Honestly, these are all priceless!

Take a minute to check out her website. Spread the word to any other mama's you may know. This is one piece of jewellery that will always be treasured.

Be sure to go over to Breastmilk Jewellery's Facebook Page and give it a "Like". If you haven't yet been over to my page, Discovering Me In Them, come visit me over there too! As always, THANK YOU for stopping by! A very special THANK YOU to Kate for taking time to be a part of this blog!

Liquid Gold

In a recent post, Hooray For Boobies, I talked about Breastfeeding and how I was fortunate to have nursed/nurse both of my boys. Not all of us are blessed with babes who come out ready to breastfeed. There are some mothers who struggle with wanting to give their babies breastmilk yet sometimes other circumstances cause this to be a struggle. Babies are born premature and are unable to nurse right away, some babies reject nursing, babies are born with conditions which cause them to be too ill to nurse, then there are parents who adopt yet still want to be able to give breastmilk. Did you know that you CAN induce lactation! How awesome is that! It takes a lot of work and sometimes it isn't successful yet this just shows how amazing the human body is.

For some families this is when it is fabulous that we have organizations such as Human Milk 4 Human Babies. I started following their Facebook page awhile back. I was drawn in by the stories that filled the pages. Some were heart breaking others were stories of gratitude of how milk sharing was an important role in the nourishment of their child.

I worked full time the first time around so every drop of "Liquid Gold" went to Chase. This time around I was fortunate to be home with Wesley and exclusively nurse. I pumped the first 7 months. Wes decided early on he wanted nothing to do with a bottle or a pacifier and his method of eating would strictly be the boob. I was left with a good amount of breastmilk that I had stored up. We have been using it in a sippy cup with Wes for months and will be using it to do our transition to cows milk. I still have a good amount frozen and it was decided that I wanted to share my milk! Vermont has its own Facebook page for Human Milk 4 Human Babies. With the help of this page I found a local family who wanted breastmilk. This mother was currently nursing and pumping but had a low supply and was looking to have more human milk for her baby. I was able to happily donate 53 oz. That may not be a large amount but to some even an oz is a blessing.

Nursing Wes at 7 Days New

Nursing Wes at 10 Months at The Big Latch On

I hope mothers everywhere consider to give the gift of human milk if they are able. Stop before you ditch that extra milk! Check the date, maybe you too can donate.

If you missed it jump on over to Because Mama Needs a Hobby and read the beginning of my journey with breastfeeding.

Happy Friday! Cheers! 

Hurray For Boobies!

Seriously who knew "Boobies" could be so awesome! They truly are amazing. We as women, are truly amazing. Our bodies are spectacular vessels that not only give life to little creatures, they also can feed these little guys. That right there my friends, is beyond beautiful.

August is National Breastfeeding Month. I was fortunate to nurse my first son for 18 months and am now nursing my second son who is 10 1/2 months. I would share my story but I am going to leave that up to a dear friend. See Liz from Because Mama Needs a Hobby will be doing posts throughout the month about women and their personal breastfeeding stories. We all have a different story. A journey all our own. Each of us enters motherhood writing our own stories. Check out her blog and take time to read these posts!

I was thrilled to be a part of The Big Latch On that took place in Landry Park, put on by the awesome crew of women from Burlington VT Moms Blog. I was one of 40 woman and their beautiful babies. All nursing our children at 10:30am on Friday, August 1st, 2014. This event was empowering, uniting, and beautiful.

I want to also stress how very fortunate I am that I was able to successfully nurse. Some women choose not to, which is OK! Then there are others who yearn to and for whatever reason can't. This can be heartbreaking. I know that it takes mama + baby to make it work. Both my boys were pros and came out ready to latch. For this I am blessed. I will never take for granted how special this is.

No matter if you nursed, pumped and bottle fed, or chose to use formula, (maybe all of the above!) you all are wonderful! You brought new life into this world. That within itself is phenomenal!