I recently read a post written by a woman who had run for years. She married a man who did not run. As the years went on her relationship with running grew as her marriage deteriorated. He didn't share the same interests she did. He didn't get running the way she did. She found comfort from another man who did share in this love for running as she did. She ended having an affair which resulted in her and her husband divorcing. Her relationship with this other man fell apart. In the end she was simply left with running. An integral part of her life yet she learned a valuable lesson on relationships in the process and had regrets. She wrote: "My warning is this: Sometimes it doesn't matter if you run and your partner doesn't."
My husband, Jason, is not a runner. He does not aspire to eat clean and surely isn't going to be doing an Iron Man competition any time soon. He is the one who is married to a runner. He married a woman who is committed to her relationship with the road and her body. There will most likely never be a time we decide to go out for a run together. My husband is a carpenter and his job keeps him active all day. When he comes home the last thing he wants to do is any kind of exercise. In all honesty, the last thing I want him doing is running with me.
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| After my 6th Half Marathon in 2015 |
If you frequent my blog you know how passionate I am about the sport. You also know that running is spiritual for me. It goes beyond being fit, though that too is something important to me. When my husband gets home from work I usually greet him with a kiss, ask him how his day was, then I am ready to "run" out the door. I am already dressed in my running gear, desperate to escape the depths of my house which is filled with the shrieks of two toddler boys. Once I am out on my run I feel a sense of release and am able to take that time for myself.
My runs are something I need to do alone. I have been invited on group runs and asked by friends to run with them. It is just not for me. I need that time to get in my own head and sort out the cobwebs. I need to be able to connect with myself and focus on the run. Sometimes I get out there and simply enjoy the run while other times I am working on speed and beating a PR. To run with others would only cause me distraction and take away from that time alone that I need as a mother, wife, friend and partner.
My husband may not be a runner but by no means will that destroy us. He is supportive of my love for the sport. He makes sure I am able to get out there for my training. He asks me how my runs are and is genuinely interested. Then at the finish line of most of my races he is there with our children waiting for me and cheering me on. He knows to see our sons at the end of a race is exactly what I need and that those last few miles I run, I run faster to get to them.
He is messy, I am obsessively clean. He likes to collect "shit", I enjoy organizing and throwing things out. He is quiet, I am loud. He eats whatever he wants, I choose healthier foods. He forgets things, I remember everything. He is conservative, I am definitely liberal. He does not run, I am a runner!
I am not sure if I can say this proves the theory that opposites attract. What I can say is that in my own relationship, we are very different. At the end of the day we balance one another out and know how to laugh with one another. My husband doesn't have to throw on a pair of running shoes to win my heart. At the end of the day it is about supporting one another, growing together, sharing this wonderful life and loving one another no matter how different or alike we are. It's also about forgiveness...when I order another pair of running shoes!
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