Making Time For Myself

Having kids changes so many things. My children have brought me more joy than I could have ever imagined. It also brought on many other things that I wasn't expecting. Why didn't anyone ever tell me how haunting "Mommy guilt" can be. Then there is this whole  parenting thing, and no a damn manual! And why didn't someone tell me that I would lose sight of myself if I wasn't careful?! Five years into the mommy gig I am beginning to smooth out the wrinkles and some days I even feel like I am doing an "OK" job. I love every bit of being a mom. I would never change any of it! Instead I have grown from it and know that this is just the beginning of my growth. Because of my children I am learning more about myself.


With that being said I have also lost a part of me. The part that did things for herself and didn't feel the guilt. For the longest time I didn't even want to leave the house without my children. I wasn't able to enjoy a date night with my husband without feeling this pain deep down, as though I had abandoned the little creatures. Seeing my girlfriends meant playdates accompanied by our children. If we were lucky we could get in a sentence or two about how we were doing. Otherwise the comfort came from just having another human being in the same room with me that wasn't going to put their sticky fingers all over my new jeans. Oh wait...yeah I meant old yoga pants. As if I actually get to buy myself new things. 

Stock Photo

The thing is I should be able to have nice things for me. I should be doing things that make me happy. As a mother I need to be sure I am also taking care of myself. For me to be a better mom I also need to be sure that I too am happy. My children do come first. That is not something that will ever change. What does need to change is that I need to put more focus on myself and take  care of this woman. It doesn't have to be big things, even small simple things can be fulfilling.

When I started running it was after my first son was born. I started running to get in shape and create a better me. In the joy of running I discovered it offered me so much more. This was/is the only time that I get to be alone with myself. This makes my running sacred and spiritual along with keeping myself fit. Running has served to be that "ME" time that I need, that time that I crave and desire. 

Now that the little's are not babies anymore I am feeling that I need to do more for myself. I need to take the time to celebrate myself, reward myself, and find happiness in the things that I enjoy. I am getting better at it and suddenly I know that I need to make things happen and lose the guilt. I need to let go and realize that taking care of me is not selfish, it is essential and healthy. 

Here are some things I have been doing and will try to make more of an effort to do in the future

* I scheduled myself a facial last week, courtesy of my hubby. I got to lay on a fabulous heated table in a dimly lit room, soft music in the background, and the scent of intoxicating oils while I had someone take care of me! Granted many of my thoughts went back to my children but I also got to talk with my girl who does my facials (who is absolutely amazing!). I had an adult conversation, got to relax, and came out with incredible skin at the end. Over the past year I have tried to do this every three to four months. It's good for my skin and it is good for me! I am allowed to get a facial, massage or my hair done. Once in awhile it is okay to splurge. Matter of fact I need to add manicure and pedicure to this list before summer comes. (No one one's to see my runner's feet right now!) 
 

* There use to be a time where I could read book after book. I think the last time I plowed through a bunch of books was when I was pregnant for my first son. Once he was a toddler I got back into reading again...then came child number two. I miss reading. I am going to do my best to try to read a little more. Even if I only get in a few pages during bath time or while they are glued to some mind numbing kids show I have seen ten times. Right now I am reading Tales From Another Mother Runner. 

My tablet for reading accompanied by a beer

* Last month I had dinner with one of my dear friends. It was awesome! We had actually not had any time alone together since she was last pregnant, sadly that was around twenty one months ago! I need to connect with my friends more and step outside the house. I believe it is good for my children to know that I need to spend time with my friends and even more important that my husband get some rare one on one time with them since he works a lot. I have a dinner date scheduled for next week with another friend and I am ecstatic about it. Dinner dates for mommies is the equivalent of what Christmas is to toddlers. Trust me, it's pretty awesome! 


* Then there is my writing. I want to write and not feeling bad about the time I put into it. Here's the thing, I love to write, I love to blog and I love the connections I have made. I have to admit sometimes I feel guilty when I sit down to write. I feel like I should be doing something with my kids and not sitting at the computer. It is  not like it is constant and figuring that I post only once to occasionally twice a week it should be okay for me to take some time to write. I need to write for me which means I need to let go of that damn mommy guilt and realize that it is okay to do things that I like to do. 

It's easy to lose ourselves in our everyday routines. I hope as the years go by I will learn to relish in moments for me. I hope I will continue to strive to make more time for myself; to honor who I am as a woman, a mother, wife and friend. I wouldn't change a thing about this amazing life I have blessed with. I do not regret any of the time that has passed since children are only little once. As they grow, I too will grow. Parenting is a lifelong school; teaching us as well as creating who we are in the process. Once in awhile we need to take moments to breathe, to reflect and to take care of ourselves. This life is a gift for each one of us, we must embrace it. Happiness is in everything around us, even the little things. 



What do you do you do for your "ME" time?  


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be. Skin Clinic : Your skin deserves to be happy too!

It is not often that I get out and do things for myself. So when Rachel Ahari of be. Skin Clinic asked me to come out for a facial at her new spot I couldn't turn it down.

be. Skin Clinic is located in a beautiful old building on Falls Road in Shelburne. Just walking up to the door of Rachel's place I could feel the good vibes emanating from behind the door. Walking in I was instantly drawn to the design and scents.

Rachel took some time to tell me about the clinic and explain about the products she had and services she offered. There truly is something for everyone and each skin type. After filling out my information sheet and discussing what I was looking to achieve during this visit, we decided on the Arctic Berry Peel & Peptide Illuminating System. Sounds delicious and amazing doesn't it?!

The Illuminating System is broken down into three parts: Exfoliate, Activate, and Illuminate. The products used are from a company called Eminence from Hungary. These products are also organic. I don't know about you, but it is important to me what I put into my body. We spend a lot of time reading labels for food yet how many of us actually read the labels of what is in our skin care regimen?

The treatment felt wonderful, smelled delicious, and left my skin looking smoother and radiant. Rachel was excellent about explaining what she was doing and being sure I was comfortable during the treatment. She walked me through each step and I even learned things about my own skin I wasn't aware of.

It is obvious in listening to Rachel talk about her clinic and the services offered that she is truly passionate about what she is doing. There is an excitement in her voice and she glows while telling me that she is happy to be back in Vermont starting her new journey. I asked Rachel to answer a few questions in her own words. Here they are:

 1- You are passionate about skin and what you do. Where did this come from and when did you know that this is what you were meant to do?

After completing my undergraduate degree in Business Management, I knew I had wanted to work in the spa industry. It just made sense for me to focus on customer service and management, which is exactly what I did. It wasn’t until I visited an international spa conference in 2010 that I met someone who ended up opening my eyes to the world of aesthetics. And as soon as I got my hands wet, I absolutely fell in love with being a practitioner!

2- What would you like the community to know about be. Skin Clinic, LLC, that sets your spa aside from the others?
My training! I am the only Master Aesthetician in the area and extremely proud of that. My bio on the website describes it well… "Rachel brings to Vermont an elite and rare blend of high-level training, professional experience, and deep passion for skin care. She is a licensed and certified Master Aesthetician with over 1,500 hours of medical aesthetic training and professional experience in both clinical dermatology and plastic surgery practices throughout New England. Furthermore, Rachel’s characteristics of intellectual curiosity and true passion for skin care ensures that she employs the most up-to-date and innovative advancements, products, and treatments in her practice. Through her years of training and professional work, Rachel has perfected her approach to skincare and hair removal, in addition to her commitment to providing a high quality, enjoyable client experience. She is thrilled to share her skills and passion with the Vermont community through be. Skin Clinic."

3- In building a business, what have you learned about yourself?
That hard work pays off! It took awhile to get here, but my dream has finally come true and I am so thankful!

Please visit Rachel's Facebook page for be. Skin Clinic and welcome her back to Vermont and give her a "like". Next time you are in need of some personal TLC, contact be. Skin Clinic! Gift Certificates are also available so be sure to hint to your significant other or pick one up for a gift! The Holidays are right around the corner! We all deserve to be pampered once in awhile and this is the perfect place to do so!

"I think women should start to embrace their age. What's the alternative to getting older? You die. I can't change the day I was born. But I can take care of my skin, my body, my mind, and try to live my life and be happy". ~Olivia Munn