Remembering Bobby

Sometimes I can still smell his cologne. It happens at random times. I was running a few weeks ago and it was as if he was running right next to me, pushing me along.  Other times it's an old song that comes on the radio and suddenly I am right back where I was when I was 16. I still have dreams about him. Some more vivid than others. I still see his face and if I try hard enough I can hear his voice.

When you are 18 and 19 the world should be in the palm of your hands. You are setting goals. Finding out what it is like to be an adult. Falling down, then getting back up. At least that is what most young adults are doing. Others are leaving behind friends and family who years later will still miss them and wonder why they had to leave.It has been 18 years since he has passed on.

If you knew Bobby you loved him. There wasn't a person who didn't like him. Sure, he could get you mad but it was almost impossible to stay upset with him. He had a smile that was contagious and a heart as big as he was. His laugh would cause ripples in you like a wave and before you knew it you were laughing right along with him. He was surrounded by three beautiful women, his mother and two sisters, who he loved intensely. Family was important to Bobby. He loved the outdoors and the woods. He was strong, athletic, and passionate.

I was a freshmen in college when I received the phone call that he had passed away. I had just been home for Thanksgiving break. I hadn't seen Bobby when I was home yet had only talked to him a couple weeks before. I had spent a good amount of that summer before I left for school with Bobby. Leaving him was one of the hardest things I had done in my young adult life. He was one of my dearest friends. I knew leaving would change our friendship and we would move on in other directions. I also knew I would miss him terribly. I was not prepared for the heartbreaking phone call that he was gone forever.


There would be no more phone calls. No more letters. No more I love you's. A mother lost her son. Sisters lost their beloved brother and friend. Friends lost a piece of themselves. The world lost a good man. We all grieved. Our small little community suddenly had a crack in it from the place where he once was. He will always be there. He never left really. It's in those moments where you feel like your loved one is no where near you, that if you stop for a moment and try, you will feel them. You will be comforted and filled with the love they left behind.

He lives on within each life he touched. For however long or brief, he has left his mark on you. He lives on in his nieces and nephews. He lives on through memories and stories we all share. He lives on, waiting for us on the other side. Someday there will be laughter again shared with him.

Each person has a purpose. Each spirit has a divine meaning. We are all gifts to one another. Pieces of one another. The ones we love surround us, mold us, teach us and complete us. We all fit together like a puzzle. There are several pieces, many hearts, and they all fit together to make our world beautiful. Each soul is carried within us, hugging our hearts and reminding us that we are never alone.