His Fantastic Journey

It is as if I blinked and suddenly I am where I am. I look around at my life and feel so filled with love and blessed for everything I have. My greatest gifts are my children. It seems like only yesterday when I first held Chase in my arms. This tiny little person that I had no idea how much I would fall in love with. Words can not even describe the emotions I have for my boys. I try to find those words but the feelings are so amazing I am not sure that those words have been created just yet.

Here we are, a little over 3 1/2 years later. Chase had his first soccer game last night. He was excited, and possibly I was even more excited than he was. I was curious and nervous at the same time. Would he like it? Would he engage the other children or would he stand on the side lines? Would he listen to his coaches?

He did all of that. He loved it. His face was priceless. Red and sweaty with a big smile on his face. He was great with the other kids and immediately picked another boy to tag along with and mimic. He played with the others, took redirection from his coaches, and didn't seem to notice I was there.

Chase will be starting preschool 2 afternoons a week starting in a week and a half. I am a bit terrified about this. I have always said one of the hardest things I ever done was send my child to daycare. It was such a gut wrenching act to me. I hated leaving my child. If you read this blog at all you now know I hate leaving my children period. Now with school approaching I am starting to feel the same way. Last night watching him at soccer helped to ease some of that. I know it is important for him. School will teach him skills that I can't. I believe in structure and he right now needs that. He wants to go! That makes me happy.

I am excited for all these new changes for him. His own fantastic journey he gets to create for himself. I have to remember it is not about me. I know I will be a blubbering mess when he gets on that bus yet will attempt to not loose it until he has driven off. I want him to keep the excitement and be proud of himself.

That is exactly what I felt watching him last night. Pride. I am thankful he picked me to be his mama! There are moments I wish I could hit a rewind button yet know this is the beginning of many incredible moments we get to share together.