Being A Part Of The Memory: When To Put The Camera Down

One of my favorite things to do is take pictures. I seem to always have the camera in my hand. Even when we leave the house I take it with me "just in case" I see something that I need to take a photo of. Pictures to me are treasure's; moments frozen in time. Pieces of our lives captured to bring us a smile, or sometimes even tears.

I rarely am in photo's since the camera is always in my hand. There are a few times I will hand it over to my partner and those pictures tend to be blurry or completely off centered. They are not in any way taken with the slight amount of an artistic eye. I am fortunate to have a wonderful friend and photographer that has taken pictures of my family over the years and given me amazing treasures.

We just got back from vacation in Old Orchard Beach, Maine. I took a ridiculous amount of photo's as I tend to do on these trips. I want to catch all the "firsts". I want to freeze all those smiles and laughter. I love when I can sit back and watch them and seize that moment when they are not aware I am gawking at them. Then there are those photo's where you try to get the kids to both smile at the same time. Begging, pleading for "just one" good photo. What are we thinking?! Bless photographers patience because after about snapping ten photo's I finally say screw it and hope I got one where they both are remotely looking at the camera. Maybe just maybe one of those pictures they will be smiling and tongues won't be sticking out. Maybe. But highly unlikely.

As much as I love taking pictures I know I need to try to put the camera down. This is hard for me. What if I miss something really great?! The reality is holding that camera in my hand all the time doesn't allow me to be a part of the moment. In fact I am missing something great. I am missing being a part of that memory. I can still freeze that moment in my mind. My heart can feel joy by watching my children smile and being the one to smile back at them. No lens in front of my face, just me.

One of my favorite moments from our trip was when I did decided to leave my camera behind. I hesitated in my mind before walking out the door. It had been storming all day and the rain had finally stopped. It was eight o'clock at night and I asked Chase if he wanted to go on an "adventure". One of the things I make sure we do is walk the beach together. Just him and I looking for "treasures". This night I knew the waves were angry and the ocean would be inviting me to take pictures. I wanted to capture Chase playing in those waves, dancing over the seaweed and shells. I left my camera at the room walking hand and hand with my son.

The next half hour we skipped on the beach. Our toes sinking in the wet sand. The salt water splashing at our feet and reaching up towards our knees. I held Chase's hand as a wave pulled him down soaking him from head to toe. We looked at one another and laughed. We kept playing games with the waves. The ocean was an amazing canvas of rumbling waves. It was beautiful, intense, and inviting; just as Chase's laughter was. His face was lit up and his eyes sparkled with glee. This moment was perfect. This moment was mine to hold on to. I have already tucked it away and kept it as one of my sacred treasures, right inside my soul.

I will always have my camera on me. I will continue to take an obscene amount of photo's. What I want to try my best to do is be more in the moment. To allow myself to put that camera down so I can create more of these memories with my children. I want them to hold onto these moments just as I do. There are things I remember as a young girl. I do not need photo's to remind me. I can only hope my children will grasp the same sweet moments I do. And the rest, I will stop in time with my camera.

The Ugly Truths About Vacation

I have a vacation hangover as we speak. Our mini vaca was awesome. I could go on and on and tell you about all the fun we had, memories that were made, and how I took a ridiculous amount of pictures which I have yet to go through. But I decided that I would talk about something else. Like how about those ugly truths about vacations. You know, the reasons which make a vacation once a year for a reason!

In no particular order here are my gripes about vacation:

1- The food & beer: How I indulged. That's what vacation is for right?! And so I did. I had a few several yummy Maine beers. I ate lots of food, had dessert, and bought fudge. Here's the thing though, once vacation is said and done all that beer & food lead to nothing but guilt overload. You come home feeling like you need to go buy a new wardrobe & need a cleanse.

2- Then there is the sunburn factor: I am fortunate that I tan pretty easily. I love the sun and I love the beach. Put a drink in my hand and give me a towel to lay on and I am one happy girl. But sometimes when you switch up bathing suits those areas that were once covered are now exposed to the sun. Lets just say I have some sore  and red areas, as I call them to my children, on my "Nonnies" (you can figure it out I am sure) So, when your son is nursing and decides to knead you like a kitten does with their little claws, well, the whole sun factor isn't so pleasant anymore.

3- The car ride: You know what I love more than anything? Screaming and crying babies! Yes, how that makes a car ride so pleasant... SAID NO MOTHER EVER!!!! Granted, I get the fact that it sucks to be restrained in a seat while your father plays country music and your brother sings Jake and the Never Land Pirates theme song over and over and over....But for the love of God don't you love me??!! Please next time sweet child take a 4 hour nap. I would if I could!

4- The vomiting child: The only good thing about the fact that I had to clean up my poor toddler as the truck is moving and the poor kid is crying, was the fact that the last thing he ate was a chocolate munchkin and it helped to mask the awful stench by adding a hint of chocolate. Nasty yes, but a true story. Then we pull over on the side of the road where the wind is blowing and I am bending over to strip my kid and the wind is blowing up my skirt so every car that drives by can see my ass. WTF! Like the last thing I can do at this point is care. My job is to wipe down my poor kid with 100 wipes (Thank God for those babies!)

5- Returning Home: When it is all said and done you get home and there is a sense of relief. Sure, it was an awesome time. But home is home. Yet all of a sudden there are piles. Piles of dishes, bags, food, and the worst part: Piles of laundry!! So I will spend the next couple of days washing clothes, blankets and towels with a smile on my face. Okay, fuck that, there will be no smile but I will be sure to get it done!

I am sure the list could go on...but my fridge is empty and now I get to go grocery shopping with two kids! Ahhh yes, vacation is officially over. Home Sweet Home!

Toes in The Sand

Growing up we took a family vacation every year. Once in awhile we would do something where we would have to travel a bit further (Pennsylvania, South Carolina, even Prince Edward Island). We never went anywhere we had to fly. The four of us would pile in my dad's Four Runner and we would be off to our destination. No, we never made it to Disney World. At 25, Whoops! I mean 35, I have never met Mickey Mouse.

As a family we did something even better in my book. We went camping every summer for a week. It was usually always the first week of July. We would go to Old Orchard Beach, Maine. We stayed at this place called Baileys Camp Resort. My parents had a pop up camper and we would get a site and this would become our home for the week. We went to the beach, LL Bean visits, visited lighthouses, and had marshmallows by the camp fire. 

I have very fond memories of vacationing with my folks. Even as we got to be teenagers it was still fun to go with my parents. We could safely roam the campground and make friends. It was always sad when the week came to an end.

I am thankful for those memories. I hold them dear to me.

Now it is my turn. Now it is up to me to hopefully create some of the same memories with my own family.

The first time we did our  family weekend it was in 2012. Chase was 17 months. I didn't intentionally pick Old Orchard Beach. Jason and I both love Maine so in deciding where to go for a family weekend it sounded perfect. Kid friendly, nice beaches, the boardwalk, and seafood! Jason had never been to Old Orchard Beach so it was his & Chase's first time.

Chase at OOB in 2012

We had a blast and this year will be our third year going. This time it will be Wesley's first time. We go this upcoming weekend and I am getting excited. I booked this 2 months ago and finally it is here. It will be nice to put aside work and ordinary life, to put our toes in the sand and enjoy one another.

It is time to create memories.

Lasting ones.

Happy ones.

The kind that when my sons are 35 they will be looking back smiling at what we created as a family. Then maybe just maybe, they will do it with their children.