Tuesday, June 24, 2014

The Ugly Truths About Vacation

I have a vacation hangover as we speak. Our mini vaca was awesome. I could go on and on and tell you about all the fun we had, memories that were made, and how I took a ridiculous amount of pictures which I have yet to go through. But I decided that I would talk about something else. Like how about those ugly truths about vacations. You know, the reasons which make a vacation once a year for a reason!

In no particular order here are my gripes about vacation:

1- The food & beer: How I indulged. That's what vacation is for right?! And so I did. I had a few several yummy Maine beers. I ate lots of food, had dessert, and bought fudge. Here's the thing though, once vacation is said and done all that beer & food lead to nothing but guilt overload. You come home feeling like you need to go buy a new wardrobe & need a cleanse.

2- Then there is the sunburn factor: I am fortunate that I tan pretty easily. I love the sun and I love the beach. Put a drink in my hand and give me a towel to lay on and I am one happy girl. But sometimes when you switch up bathing suits those areas that were once covered are now exposed to the sun. Lets just say I have some sore  and red areas, as I call them to my children, on my "Nonnies" (you can figure it out I am sure) So, when your son is nursing and decides to knead you like a kitten does with their little claws, well, the whole sun factor isn't so pleasant anymore.

3- The car ride: You know what I love more than anything? Screaming and crying babies! Yes, how that makes a car ride so pleasant... SAID NO MOTHER EVER!!!! Granted, I get the fact that it sucks to be restrained in a seat while your father plays country music and your brother sings Jake and the Never Land Pirates theme song over and over and over....But for the love of God don't you love me??!! Please next time sweet child take a 4 hour nap. I would if I could!

4- The vomiting child: The only good thing about the fact that I had to clean up my poor toddler as the truck is moving and the poor kid is crying, was the fact that the last thing he ate was a chocolate munchkin and it helped to mask the awful stench by adding a hint of chocolate. Nasty yes, but a true story. Then we pull over on the side of the road where the wind is blowing and I am bending over to strip my kid and the wind is blowing up my skirt so every car that drives by can see my ass. WTF! Like the last thing I can do at this point is care. My job is to wipe down my poor kid with 100 wipes (Thank God for those babies!)

5- Returning Home: When it is all said and done you get home and there is a sense of relief. Sure, it was an awesome time. But home is home. Yet all of a sudden there are piles. Piles of dishes, bags, food, and the worst part: Piles of laundry!! So I will spend the next couple of days washing clothes, blankets and towels with a smile on my face. Okay, fuck that, there will be no smile but I will be sure to get it done!

I am sure the list could go on...but my fridge is empty and now I get to go grocery shopping with two kids! Ahhh yes, vacation is officially over. Home Sweet Home!


  1. The car ride there is so much fun, there is so much excitement...the car ride home, you're like just get me the F home now.
    Baby wipes are the best!!!!!!!
    Good luck getting your Home Sweet Home back in order. Knowing you it will be done in no time!!

  2. As a mama, preparing and recouperating from vacation are so hard. If your house is anything like mine, you do the majority of packing and organizing beforehand, and laundry catch up afterward. So glad to hear you had a good time though... and sorry about your boobs :)

  3. Trips can be so exhausting. My kids start asking are we there yet five minutes into the trip. I have always wanted to visit Maine. I bet the food is awesome.