Waiting to Exhale

Being a mommy of two boys has so many wonders. Especially at Chase's age. He is full of life and loves to explore. The child has no fear at all. He loves to climb, run, jump and give his mother heart palpation's. I find that I have begun to hold my breath at some moments waiting to exhale.

The simple joy of taking my son to the park has started to come with a bit of anxiety. There is a park near our house that Chase refers to as the "Big" park. Yes, there is another one near by he calls the "little" park. The big park is pretty cool but there are still things that worry me.

What if he loses his footing?

What is he misses a rail and falls?

He could break an arm? A leg?

Take a deep breath...he is almost to the top...phew... he did it

Then, he wants to do it again...and here comes that nauseous feeling again.

I get it, it is so good for him. Not to mention letting him explore and challenge himself teaches agility and confidence as well. For these reasons I try not to say no or let him see the fear I hold inside of me.

It's my mama bear instinct. I want to protect my children.

It is also my job though to let them spread their wings. To discover, to grow, to fly.

In motherhood there is so many moments of happiness and joy. The hold your breath moments, they surely challenge that. The playground is only the beginning. There will be endless moments when I hold my breath.

Pray.

Wait.

Then I will once again exhale.

I must remember the joy of it all. How this is not my journey and ride, but it is his.