Tuesday, February 25, 2014

My New Title

I am a SAHM. I haven't always been though. I worked for the first 2  1/2 years of Chase's life. I  can say that I know what it is like to be a full time working mom and now being a full time SAHM. There are differences for sure.

Chase was 10 1/2 weeks when he first went to daycare. Not even three months old. It was one of the most difficult things I have ever done, leaving my child with another person to care for him. I cried for weeks after I would leave him. My rides to work seemed so long and my heart felt as though it shattered. Dramatic a bit? No, this is truly how I felt. For me I had always envisioned staying home with my children. My mom stayed home with us until I was a freshman in high school. I wanted the same for my own family. Here I was, dropping off my first son off to daycare. I was fortunate to have chosen a daycare provider that was wonderful and and he was surely in the best hands. But he is my son, and I felt it was my job to be there with him. I adjusted though and got back into work. I loved what I did and that helped make the days go by faster.

Chase ~ 3 Months

Working and being a mom was definitely hard balance. It's hard to be 100 % into any other aspect of life when you have children. It is also hard not to feel some level of guilt as well. It was always rushing to pick him up so I could spend every second with him until we started bedtime routine. There was also house work and dinner to be done. I could not wait for my weekends, as my weekdays it often felt I just wanted it to be bedtime so we could start all over again and get to the next day. Each one bringing me closer to the weekend.

When we decided to have another baby we sat down and discussed work vs me staying home. I knew this time around I needed to be home. I didn't want to miss any more moments. I wanted to be there to watch my children and care for them. Financially it didn't make sense to put two children in daycare. I couldn't grasp that most of what I would be making would go to someone else watching my children every day, no matter how wonderful they were.  So after working since I was 16, and having been in the field I was in for almost 14 years, I started a new job. I became a SAHM.

Now let me tell you, I have girlfriends who are SAHM's that have always said it is the hardest job you will ever have. Yes, they are telling the truth! It becomes a different kind of balance. Believe it or not you still struggle to find time to clean, cook, and take a shower! Some days a shower is a luxury. Taking a shower alone, that's a whole other kind of paradise. Alone time, never! As many times as one may try to even sneak on line for a Facebook peak or check email there is a child who needs something. (BTW, it can take more than one time sitting down to write a blog entry). I also have two children who have completely different needs. I also struggle to feel like some days I don't do enough. Other days I feel accomplished.

It is rewarding for me to stay home. I am happy in this job. Hard, absolutely! Some days are down right exhausting.  As a family we sacrifice to have me stay home. It's not that we are "lucky we can". I don't like hearing that because for us it is that we are lucky because we have made it happen. My bank account is empty these days. I don't ever buy anything for myself. I choose this though, it is my job. My pay is priceless. I get to see my children every day. I get it all, the good and the bad. This also won't last forever. I will go back to work full time someday. I will not regret this time. These are the days I will never get back.

I know how hard both jobs are. There is no comparison. Not one is more difficult than the other. Every woman does what it best for her family and her. I respect that. I have walked in both shoes. Each one has it's list of pro's & con's. Each one challenges you and makes you a stronger, incredible, and amazing MOM!!

Someone thinks he is pretty cool

This is Wes just awake from a nap


1 comment:

  1. I appreciate how you say you're lucky because you made it work with sacrifice. Either route you go there is a sacrifice I guess, huh? It's too bad there has to be!
    Now, onto ordering your new business cards... :-)