First it was Chase, my four year old. The first couple weeks of his life the only way I could get any sleep was to let him sleep on my chest. I tried everything from his co sleeper to his swing and even the car seat. He would have none of it. All Chase wanted was my warm body. It was my first go at the whole mommy thing and I had this perception that my baby would sleep in his crib. Isn't that is what is suppose to happen?! Wrong! Absolutely false! For me at least.
Chase eventually started to sleep in his co sleeper but being the big, chunky baby he was, grew out of that quickly and then he was into his crib. He would sleep in his crib yet still wake several times a night. It wasn't until he was around eighteen months old that he started to wake less frequently and allow me to get some sleep.
I was working full time with Chase and we did try sleep training. First at six months then again at nine months. The first time I failed miserably. I couldn't take the crying. It cut through me and nothing about it felt right. At nine months I had hit a wall and decided that we would try it again. This time I was a little more
He is four now. He still wakes at night. Sometimes one to two times. There are nights I believe he is waking up from bad dreams. Then there are the others which he cries and admits he "just wants mommy". That's all well and good once in awhile...but then again have you met my sixteen month old Wesley?
It was decided before this little creature came along that I would co sleep. This time around this babe would be in bed with me. The first few months were a breeze compared to his brother. Then four months hit. The teeth came...and I once again was blessed with another child who would not sleep. Some nights he still wakes hourly. He is a Pro at nursing (seriously, this kid could earn an Oscar for it). I believe he thinks it is his job to literally suck the life out of me each and every night. He is like a baby vampire. Instead of blood that he that attacks me for, it's the milk my awesome boobs make him. Like a vampire, the little milk sucker does bite! (Insert screaming)
I have never been a good sleeper. Even without the interruption of my children I tend to wake frequently or lay there praying for sleep before one of them wakes me. I am pretty good at rallying most days. I can hide my exhaustion well and sadly have learned to function this way.
I try my best not to complain, bitch, yell, or cry about it...but honestly...mama just wants to sleep!
If you are one of those moms who have been blessed with a good sleeper, do me a favor: please keep your mouth shut! Seriously, all of the sleep deprived mothers might accidentally smack you. If you are a sleep deprived mama like me reading this: Hey woman, high five! Let's remember soon this will all be a clouded memory. Until then, pour yourself a drink. It might just help to get you some sleep before the time your child cries for you!