Tuesday, February 3, 2015

The Four Letter Word Forbidden in My House

There should probably be a swear jar in my house for the amount of four letter words used on a daily basis. Some are muttered, whispered under my breath countless times a day. Others become echo's throughout the walls of this house. I should really be putting some effort into not using some of these words. Truth be told; I like to swear. Really, I am not sure I want to control it. There are so many fabulous four letter words!

With that being said there is one four letter word that is forbidden. The very sound of it makes me cringe. I truly despise this word and will not allow it to be said in my presence. If I hear it, I correct it. My children will not be allowed to use it unless it is in the correct context. I will not let my ears hear the word: CAN'T!

Chase, my four year old, is at an age where he is learning new things. He is discovering, exploring, and evolving. He is being challenged every day and I watch him get frustrated. I see the look of fear some days. I watch the change in his expression as he gets discouraged. Lately he has been saying that he "can't" do certain things. I am quick to correct him. I remind him that, yes, you CAN do it. I make an effort to help resolve whatever the situation is and prove to him that he is capable.

I want my children to believe in themselves. I want them to exude confidence. I don't want them to think they are able to fly like batman, yet I feel it is important for my children to at least always try their best. I want them to strive for the things they want and believe in; no matter how hard that may be. 

Life can be difficult and cruel. We are faced with heartache and pain. We love, we lose. We stand, we fall. We are constantly challenged and we either choose to rise above the struggles or surrender to them. I know that I cannot protect my children from any of that. The harsh reality is that I will watch most of it. I will feel their sting from disappointment. I will ache for them when they get their heart broken. I will cry along with them when they feel defeated. I will also be there in those times to reassure them. To help hold them up. I will push my children to believe that they CAN and allow them to feel that sense of pride in their decision to try.

There is a euphoric feeling that comes from being able to do something you did not think you could do. Sometimes we need to step outside of our comfort zone to discover things about ourselves. We do not always look in the mirror and see our beauty and strength deep within. It's in moments of being scared, falling down, and trying to do something we have never done before; those are the moments where we are born. Those moments may not always define us, yet they help to teach us and allow us to grow.

My motto for myself is: Always Believe You Can. I would like my children to listen to this and learn from those words. It doesn't have to be their mantra, yet I hope it creates a fire within them as they grow. I want there to be pride in everything they do. I want my children to do something because they CAN!

There will continue to be several four letter words said in my house (just a premonition I have). "Can't", that is not one of them!

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  1. That is a great article. My 4 year old daughter flings that word around too, but mostly out of laziness because she is counting on one of us to help her. At first, I would just do it for her to get it done. Now we encourage her and talk her through it and then she gets excited to see that she could do it.

    Sidenote: I have a potty mouth too. I used to try to convince myself that only uneducated people swore because there are so many expressive words in the English language that there has to be a better word than the "f" word. My current excuse is that they are just words. It does seem to be part of me that I can't seem to shake. :-)

    1. Glad you like this piece! My son Chase says it too quickly. I know it is an age thing but that is where I feel it is important to teach him now that we have to try things before saying we can't do them.

      Good to know I am not the only one who likes swearing. I thought maybe I could curb it once I had kids...I think that only made it worse! ;)

  2. Excellent post, Crystal! So many kids (and adults) don't want to try if their first attempt won't be perfect. Failure is usually just a step on the path to success.

    I enjoy swearing as well. :)

    1. Thank you Kara!!
      Yes- a fellow mom with a potty mouth! Cheers!

  3. Great post! Thanks for sharing at Totally Terrific Tuesday!