Don't Throw Santa Under The Bus!

A few weeks back while at work there was a family that came in with their kitten. Having young children of my own (and because I love kids), I always try to engage children in conversation as I am setting up for an appointment. (For those that don't know I am a Veterinary Technician) My best guess was that the kids were around four and six. Since it was just before Thanksgiving I thought this would be a perfect time to bring up Santa! Most kids can't wait to rattle off the list they have created and are anxious to babble on about all the things they will ask for.

Let me preface this next paragraph by saying I do know that not everyone celebrates Christmas. I am aware that people do practice other religions and have their own traditions which do not include Santa. I decided to go out on a limb with it anyway and asked: "Are you getting your lists ready for Santa"? Both children took a moment before answering with a "No". I knew right then with how the room suddenly felt that I should have kept my big mouth shut and stuck to topics on furry animals rather than the man in the red suit. It was their mother who filled in the silence with: "We don't celebrate Christmas. It is too commercialized." Let's just say she had the last word on that conversation as I quickly jumped to how cute their kitten was and other ramblings that did not have a thing to do with Christmas.

Just like that Santa was thrown under the bus. Not because of religion, not because it was not their culture, yet because society has turned Christmas into dollar signs and presents. Yes, this mother is indeed right about that. I do not argue the fact that our culture has turned Christmas into a money making event. This does not mean we can't still celebrate Christmas and the mystery of Santa because of it. I believe it is our responsibility to teach our children what the holidays are really about. Let's face it friends, there are many things in society that will teach our children things we do not want them to know. Society will hand our children ideas that we cannot keep them from. Unless you have a bubble and a blindfold for your children you are not going to hide them away from what society has to say.

I have fallen in love with the holidays once again now that I have children of my own. Living their excitement through their eyes has been nothing short of amazing. I was brought up with Santa and I will be damned if I don't let my children experience him just as I did. As much as we talk about Santa, the elves (yes, I did falter to the evilness of those scary looking dolls. Ours are named Percy and Sheldon) and Rudolph we also talk about what the holidays mean. It is my job as a parent to teach my children that the days ahead are more than just gifts. It is my responsibility to talk about giving and sharing with others, doing kind deeds, donating and offering to help one another.

Here is what we can do during the holidays to teach our children what the holidays are truly about:

* Have your child divide up their toys. Make three piles: a pile to keep, a pile to throw away, and a pile to donate. I recently did this with my almost five year old and when given the responsibility he made some great choices. We got rid of toys that were broken and things that he didn't play with much he wanted to donate. We got a bag together and he brought it in to Goodwill. He was happy to donate his toys as we talk often about being thankful for the things we have that others don't.

* Donate food to a local shelter. This time of year there are several places that are in need of food, bedding, and even pet food. Check within your community and local family centers and see what they need. Have your children participate in gathering a bag of donations. This is something we have done the past couple years and my son loves to help put things in a bag. You don't always have to go buy things either. Take inventory of your own shelves and pantry, if there are doubles of anything put those things aside. Maybe you go grocery shopping and pick up an extra container of oatmeal, bag of pasta or can of beans. Every little bit counts!

* Talk to your children! Have conversations around what the holidays mean. Tell them how lucky they are. Explain that even though we exchange gifts and Santa comes that Christmas is much more than that. Teaching the value of family, love and compassion comes from home.

* Make homemade gifts with them. There is nothing more my son likes to do than to do a project of some sort and give away the end result away. He is always giving my husband and I something he made or insisting he draw something for his grandparents. He does this with such pride and excitement. Get art supplies, glitter, glue, and paint. The internet is full of wonderful craft ideas for homemade holiday gifts. Get crafty, be creative, and let them have fun. It will mean so much more to them if they make it!

These are just a few ideas and things I try to practice within my own home. I am not judging you if you choose not to celebrate Christmas or Santa because it is a spiritual decision. Yet before you try to destroy the magic of Santa just remember that Christmas is whatever we want it to be for our children. Don't throw Santa under the bus because of what society has made him! Let's teach our children about gratitude, love, and sharing during the holidays. Let's show them what the Christmas spirit truly is. Let's let Santa be a part of the holidays; leave the big guy alone! 


Come visit me over on Facebook, Twitter, & Instagram. I look forward to connecting with you!

Letting My Son See Me Cry

There are a lot of things that I want to be to my children. How my children see me is important. I want my children to look at me and see a strong woman. I want them to know that I am a fighter. I want them to look at me and be proud. I want them to see a woman who goes after what she wants and is passionate about life. I want my boys to see their mother as determined. I want them to know I will do whatever it takes to make them happy. I do not ever want my children to think I am a sad person. Letting my boys see me cry is something I struggle with.

I strongly believe in expressing feelings and encouraging our children to do the same. There is nothing wrong with crying and I want both my boys to know that. I want them to be able to feel. To allow themselves to express themselves when they are happy or sad. I always tell my four year old, Chase, that it is okay to cry. I don't want my children feeling shamed for their feelings. I want to empower my son's to be comfortable with themselves and to express how they feel, and that includes crying in front of people.

Photo Credited To Wilcloverphotography

As their mother I have a hard time allowing them to see me cry. I know it is okay. I know I should not worry about that. But I do. The other morning something made me disheartened and I sat down and cried. I tried my best to not sound like a sobbing baby yet Chase was aware that I was crying. He asked me what was wrong and why I was sad. I softly told him that it was nothing, that mama was okay. It's not so much the act of crying in front of him, it is explaining to him why I am crying. He's too little to handle certain conversations. He is too small to know the pain that life can hand you. I am not ready for him to have to worry about certain battles he will inevitably face. It is not his place to worry about his mother. This is why I have a hard time letting my son see me cry. It is my job to comfort him, not for him to comfort me.

Crying in front of him does happens. Mommy gets frustrated some days to the point of tears and I don't have enough time to scurry out of the room before my eyes can no longer be a barrier to the inevitable water fall that is about to happen. There are times he has been sad and I can't help but cry along with him. I feel every ounce of his sadness at times and it can be so overwhelming I am unable to control my emotions.

I want my boys to not fear their emotions. I do not want them running from me to hide their pain. What I don't want to hear is the endless toddler cry over nothing at all (you know what I am talking about mama's!) but I do want them to be comfortable with their emotions. I want them to be able to come to me when they need me, a hug or just a good cry. Most of us know a good cry can heal the soul.

I know I need to also allow myself to be free. I need to be me. If I cry, well so be it. I do not need to explain to them what is going on inside mommy. I do need to let them see me as me, and that means in my most dismal moments.

I firmly believe that those moments that make you collapse to the ground, break your heart, or shatter your dreams; those are the moments that build you up. Those moments are teaching, as well as empowering if we allow them to be. Sadness takes on many forms and is different for each person. No one person can be happy every moment of every day. There is enough pressure to be the best mom I can be for my children. There are days filled with mommy guilt, some that are filled feeling like a failure. Crying in font of my children has happened, will happen, and I hope they learn from me.

I hope my children look back and say that their mother was strong, passionate, determined, and that they could always feel my love. I hope they will talk about how I encouraged them to be themselves, to love whomever they wanted, and to feel whatever their hearts feel. I want them to know that despite any sadness, life is truly a beautiful gift. I know that I will always look back at them, thankful for each moment they gave me, because without them I would not be any of these things.

What I Want My Children To Know About Love

I am in recovery from a most epic weekend. For those of you who know me or have been following me, you know that after five and a half years my partner and I finally took the plunge. Yes, it is official : I am a "Mrs" now!

We have done most everything in our relationship backwards; I have never been one to follow the rules. I do not regret any part of it. It is our own "Fairy Tale" made up of love, laughter, and two boys who we are wildly in love with.

It was special having the boys be a part of our day. They were dressed up in little suits equipped with ties and dress shoes that my four year old still insists on wearing with his shorts. Our little guy had no idea what was going on yet we have talked with Chase about this wedding since we started planning it five months ago. He still doesn't fully understand what marriage is yet I hope he will remember the day as he gets older. I want him to have flashes of us standing there, face to face, vowing to spend the rest of our lives together. With that being said this is what I want my children to know about love:

Love who you want: Do not let race, gender, or what anyone else says deter you from true love.

There is no perfect way to love, though love can be perfect for two people: We spend our lives trying to perfect relationships when all we need to do is love with our heart and souls. It won't always be easy, there will be times that it will be down right hard and ugly. In those times you need to love more. Give more. Every relationship is different and no one's love is greater than another.

You must have laughter in a home: Love is about happiness and bringing out joy in one another. If you can laugh together then you have found the antidote to any sadness that may weather in your home.

It's not a job, but it is work: In order for any relationship to thrive you need to work on it all the time. Love requires the commitment to allow it to grow and change. Love will be challenged, love may even hurt. Love will also heal.

Support one another: Know what the other is passionate about and support that passion even if it is not yours! Listen, be present, and encourage your partner to do what he or she wants.

Forgive: There will be fights, screaming, and sometimes crying. Never hold onto an argument. It is not about who is right and who is wrong. It is called compromise. Find that place in the middle where you both can feel that your feelings have been acknowledged.

Live in the moment: Never take the other one for granted. Life is a gift, often times taken away too quickly. Live each day as your last. Each day smile, laugh, and kiss one another. Go to bed every night with the last words being "I Love You."

Be thankful: Your love to one another is a gift. It is sacred. Create moments of gratitude with your partner. Let them know you appreciate them, that you appreciate the love you have made.


It has only been five years yet I hope that my children see the love we have for one another and grow knowing it. In thirty, forty, fifty years from now I want my children to look at us and never doubt the love we have for one another. These things are what I want my children to know about love.

Teaching Children Healthy Habits

One of the things that is important to me is to be a positive example for my children. I do my best to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Having children has given me the drive I needed to push myself to limits I was not aware that I could reach. Now it is my job to be sure I teach my children these healthy habits. Here are a few ways in which I try teach me children healthy habits.

Eating Nourishing Foods: I do my best to eat healthy 80% of the time. I am a firm believer in "cheat days". Some health experts say that having "cheat" days may cause a person to go off track and make unhealthy choices. This is not true for me. I am more driven to eat clean and healthy all week long and when the weekend rolls around I allow myself to indulge.  I make my children follow this as best as I can. They are toddlers so yes, some days throwing them Goldfish or Crackers is just easier. I try to offer things like strawberries, banana's, yogurt or granola. What they don't get are chips, candy, cookies or chocolate. My four year old, Chase, may ask for them yet I tell him these are things we can have on the weekend. Or in their case, when they go to see their grandparents.

Gardening with the kids: Right now we are in the middle of gardening. We have a couple box gardens set up and we are attempting to grow some of our own veggies.I made sure that Chase was a part of this process. He of coarse is drawn to dirt (it is in his DNA being a boy) and planting was something we did as a rainy day project about a months ago. We have finally moved most of our little crop outside and Chase helps to water these plants and is excited to watch them grow. He was thrilled last year when he was able to start picking things from our garden to eat. It is easier to get your children to eat those veggies if they helped to grow them.

Preparing Meals: As I was writing this I stopped and asked Chase what healthy meant to him. You could tell he was really thinking about this. These were a few of the things he came up with: "Strawberries, banana's, granola bar, yogurt and making meatballs". He associates health with food and I love this. Food is a key part of being healthy. He is learning that what we put into our bodies is important. I love that the last thing he thought of was "making meatballs". Chase loves to help me in the kitchen. I try to involve him in preparing meals as much as I can. Once a week we use turkey burger to make burgers or meatballs. He just loves getting his hands into whatever it is I am making. He is always requesting to help me. I feel it is important, even annoying as it may be some days, to let him help prepare meals. The kid is pretty good at cracking an egg too!

Staying Active: Chase has come accustomed to the routine that mommy needs to go for her runs. A couple nights a week when daddy comes home mommy is out the door like a bolt of lightning. Just recently Chase and I have started going for a run/walk together. We live on a hill and it is a half mile down and a half mile back up. It has been a nice way to spend time one on one with him while getting him to be active. He thinks this is great and gets excited about doing something alone with mommy. That is the key with getting a child to be active: you need to make it fun. If I suggest a walk I may say we are going to go see the cows or go on an adventure in the woods. Be imaginative! Maybe you are going on a special "mission" or looking for rocks and leaves to do art projects with. The bottom line is to make them move and learn to enjoy being outside. No child wants to be forced into something so if you make it exciting they will want to do it.

Being the example: Each of the above I mentioned takes a parent to model these behaviors. We are our children's most important mentor. It is our job to give them the tools they need to be healthy. It has to start first with us. We need to be the ones to show our children that it is important to take care of our bodies inside and out. If they see us practicing healthy habits they will hopefully want to model that behavior.

Many things we do in life require teamwork. We all rely on others to help us at different times, in different ways. Our children need us to teach them. We need to guide them to live the best life they can. It is us, as parents, who need to work with our children to create the happiness and health we desire for them. Together you may find you are building much more than healthy kids; you may just find you have created some new memories.


Thank You for stopping by!