This man started talking to the boys. He guessed there age right on! Then he asked how old I thought he was. I took a shot at it and guessed low to his amusement and happiness. I complimented him that he looked good for his age. He said that the reason he looked young was that he had never married, that he didn't have a woman to make him look old. Hmmm, that should have been my first red flag that the conversation was going to go further south. I thought I would give him the benefit of doubt on that comment since he had gone on to say that he moved here 20 years ago and didn't have time to marry because he worked so much. I couldn't condemn this man for coming here and being a hard worker right?! I am a sarcastic person and have a sense of humor so... I let that comment go.
Then it happened, he tried to guess my age. He looked at me and said 38. 38! WTF! For those who don't know I am 35, I will be 36 in a couple of months. So I told him no, not 38, 35. He looked at me with this quizzical face and said, "you are looking old". That was it. I was flabbergasted! I guess he was never taught that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all! I tried my best to keep a smile on my face as he went on to say that it was my boys doing that to me. And he tried to joke that his mother use to say boys are "problems". As he went on about this I couldn't even focus on his words. I was feeling bummed. Did I really look old? I try to take care of myself. I don't feel like I look closer to 40 than 35.
I can tell you that I surely don't feel my age. Some days it is hard for me to grasp that I am 35. It seemed like just yesterday I was 25. Life has surely changed since then. I have grown. Matured. But I don't feel old. I am in better shape now than I was then. I try hard to take care of myself. I exercise, use anti-wrinkle cream, and try to eat right most days. It is the inevitable...I am growing older. Big Sigh.
|Picture copied from www.jenniferlopez.com|
I know I am in a different chapter of my life. I am at the best point in my life. I have a family, two little boys, and a roof over our head. I get to watch my children grow, then someday, I will watch their children grow.
Botox? Collagen Therapy? Plastic Surgery? If only I were BFF's with J Lo then I am sure I would look as fabulous as she does. She would be sure to hook me up, she's cool like that right?! I would have a trainer to tell me when to work out, a cook to prepare my meals, and a personal doctor to be sure that there was not a wrinkle or pore visible to anyone else! But J Lo isn't my BFF and I sure don't live in Hollywood.
Ok, so I can't change the fact that I am getting older. It sure does suck though. I wish I could freeze time. Right now! I like right now. I can't though so I just hope that I will age as gracefully as my grandmother is (she is in her 80's and looks like she is in her 60's!)
So, to the man who opened his big mouth, I would like to send him a virtual FU! How dare you tell me I look old. At least I am not living my life alone. I will grow old with my partner and family. Even if they do give me wrinkles and gray hair, at least my heart is full!