I took hold of his tiny hand in mine savoring the moment. It is not often he asks for help on these hikes. If I offer my hand he usually shrugs it away or says: "I got it". He is independent, stubborn, and every bit of me. I look down at him and smile. He has no idea how I am elated with love at this moment. He does not know my heart aches knowing that this is one of those moments which will be gone soon. The sweet young boy I first fell in love with four years ago will someday grow up.
I believe that teaching independence is important. I feel that it is vital to push your children to learn how to believe in themselves. To teach our children to be brave and make good choices on their own. I want him to be able to try things first before asking for help. I want him to be courageous and fierce.
I want him to learn that sometimes you fall down, get bruised up a bit, but you always get back up and try again.
I sometimes find myself struggling which way I want to guide him. I try not to be too quick to say: "Try" or better yet...to say "No".
There are also times when parenting that I have stood back and listened to him make a plea with his father for something I know he knows how to do. I will admit I have cringed in several of those and tried my best to stay away. Then there are other times that I have come forward and strategically suggested maybe Chase do whatever it is, on his own.
As we kept walking that day and I looked down at our hands laced together, I vowed not to take my hand away from his. I prayed the moment would last just a bit longer. A promise I made to myself awhile ago was that no matter what I would always allow my children to be the ones to pull away. He has to be the first one to unfold from a hug, pull back from a kiss, and to let go of my hand. I want him to know that I am there for him. I am there to hold him, to love him, to guide him, and to always help him. I want my hands, my arms, and my love to always be felt as a safe place. I want him to know that with me he can always find home.
I do not want my children to ever be afraid to come to me and ask for help. I want them to always be able to ask. My answer may not always be what they hope it to be, but I will be there to give them an answer. I will be there to nudge them in the right direction and support them in the choices they make. This is their story to write, I am just along for the ride to narrate it.
Other Posts By Discovering Me In Them:
Learning to Say "Yes" When I Really Want To Say "NO"!
My Son Is A Thief
What I Fear The Most